DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT
Life is interesting. One moment you can be on top of the world and the next? Crashing down, as if the ground we were standing on gave way beneath our feet. Did you know that our reactions to all of our experiences are a choice? Did you know that the highs and lows of life are all relative?
When an event occurs in our lives, objectively speaking, it is neither positive nor negative. What makes it so is our reaction or interpretation of the event. We create our own reactions to what we are faced with based on our desired outcomes. When events occur, we very often become attached to the outcome with little regard for what may best serve us. Becoming attached to the outcome is the frequent framework of the ego. When our ego attaches itself to an outcome of a situation, it can readily snowball into disappointment- which the ego loves. The ego loves to be showered in pain, sadness and all sorts of other self-depreciating feelings when situations do not go its way. When we release attachment to the outcome of a situation, whatever the outcome, we will be at peace.
What if there was a way to streamline our thoughts so that we can be free of attachment from every single event that we cross paths with? Good news—there is! By understanding how and why these events trigger certain feelings and reactions in combination with seeking the bigger picture of our lives, with certain training we can absolutely stop ourselves from spinning into that awful downward spiral of disappointment.
Foremost, we must always accept what comes our way. That is to say that when we encounter certain events that we are unable to change, it is in our best interest to accept the situation instead of fighting to change it. We have all heard the saying “You can’t change a person’s behaviour, but you can change your reaction to it”, the same applies here. Whether we have attracted a certain situation for a purpose or the situation has just “happened” to us, it is always healthy to recognize that this is the way it is and we must proceed accordingly.
Often, before we accept any sort of situation that does not suit us, there is a sense of disappointment regarding said event. What we may want to consider is that experiencing the emotion of or disappointment can trigger further experiences with similar consequences. While it is healthy to acknowledge how we are feeling as a result of circumstances, to dwell on these feelings can inhibit our future experiences. This is because like attracts like. By dwelling on the seeming unpleasantness of a situation, we are unconsciously attracting future circumstances that will bring us to the same sense of disappointment.
Often we are reluctant to accept responsibility for an apparently disappointing situation. Whether we realize it consciously or not, we have attracted it. By accepting responsibility for attracting the situation- through a direct error in judgment or a subconscious belief system, we are taking a step toward empowerment. We are accepting the situation so that we can work with it instead of against it.
When faced with a string of seemingly disappointing events that have a common theme, it is important to take note. By paying attention to the similarities of these events, we can begin to draw a pattern. And this pattern begins to take shape into reflections of areas in our lives that bear examination. For all of the situations we attract into our lives are a direct result of what we have felt, thought and acted on.
The situations that we attract into our lives are a combination of free will, karma and unconscious belief systems. Did you know that we can change what we attract? Simply by consciously changing our thought patterns, we can shift the events that unfold in our futures.
When we are faced with a particular situation that brings about a sense of disappointment, it is always helpful to remember that what may seem like a disappointment close up is actually a blessing in the bigger picture. It can always help to remember that we, as humans, are unable to see the whole picture. However, there is a bigger picture at work and what may seem like a disappointment is only a temporary change in plans. And this change in plans, when reflected on years later, will very likely seem like it was a blessing in disguise. When we reflect on situations that had not gone “our way” in the past, we can begin to see why, in the grand scheme of things, they went the way they did. Did we learn something? Did a new and better opportunity arise instead?
Coming face to face with situations that can seem unpleasant encourage us to push ourselves out of our comfort zones. They challenge us to rise above what we previously knew as our truth, and help us to become less rigid and more flexible. They help us to become adaptable to all situations that life can throw at us, reducing the potential for us to become disappointed in the future.
Remember that the feeling of disappointment is our choice to feel, and that as soon as we begin to feel it, we can acknowledge it and let it go. It is not our job to control every element of our lives- it is our job to believe that all circumstances that we attract are in the highest and greatest good for all involved. It is our job to remember that Earthly life is full of lessons to be learned and experiences to experience. If we did not have these experiences, we would not learn anything; we would not progress.
When events occur in our lives that may seem less than pleasant, it can be life altering to shift our awareness to a higher perspective. One we shift our awareness in this way, the feeling of disappointment becomes lighter. It becomes woven into the fabric of the bigger picture and we begin to realize that there are many other factors at work. Perhaps this situation is a life lesson. Perhaps this situation has a certain outcome for others involved. Or, perhaps the situation is occurring because we made an error in judgment. When we see these experiences from beyond ourselves, we begin to see them lesser as “good” or “bad”, and more so as learning experiences.
By relinquishing our power to a force greater than ourselves, we are forming a partnership with The Creator. Through this partnership, we are agreeing to a greater path of self-awareness, understanding and peace of mind. By having faith in a force beyond ourselves, it can become easier to obtain answers to questions that previously eluded us. The “how’s” and “why’s” become clearer and more solidified, and with this knowledge we are able to go forth with greater strength and confidence.
Our ego loves to stew in negativity. Our ego feeds off of our negative reactions to circumstances. Thankfully, we can cut it off at the source by simply letting go of any attachment we had to the situation and its outcome!
Letting go is the first step to moving on. The sooner we move on from circumstances that do not serve us, the more quickly we rewire our synapses to focus on the positive experiences to come. By creating a habit of continuously releasing that which no longer serves our highest good, we will be continuously attracting new and positive experiences.
By being honest with ourselves, we can start to see that events that seem to be disappointing are actually paving the way for better experiences for us. By holding this healthy belief system close to our hearts, we will find that once faced with any situation, we will walk in gratitude. We will be grateful for all experiences that come our way because they are what influence our growth. And just as all other skills, with practice, patience and nurturing, we can discipline ourselves in all of these ways.