Have you ever been in a romantic relationship where you felt like you’ve known your partner for a lot longer than you have? According to spiritualist philosophy, you may very well have! Souls travel in families. This is to say that souls that are energetically and karmically interconnected with each other will continue to incarnate together life after life. Sometimes the souls incarnate together for emotional, spiritual and mental support. Conversely, sometimes the incarnate together to resolve issues that have been created in lifetimes past.

Many of us have been in relationships where we question the very core of why we are attracted to someone who drives us to our limits. Why do we continue to feed into relationships that create for us such pain and suffering? Why do we attempt to leave our partner or an unrequited love relationship just to find ourselves forgiving our partners for the hurt that we feel as a result of their behaviour and actions? Why do we often feel trapped in relationships that seem to bring us nothing but heartache and despair?

Within the framework of spiritualist beliefs lies the concept of reincarnation. Reincarnation is the belief that living beings live many lives, one after another in order to fulfill their spiritual evolution. The evolution of the soul begins and ends with interconnection with the Source Consciousness (The Creator, God consciousness- any label indicating a higher power). Reincarnation exists so that each soul has the opportunity to work through its karma in order to reconnect fully with its Divine source. The goal of this work is to stop creating karma altogether. Once the soul ceases to create any further karma (Ceasing all negative thoughts, beliefs, actions and feelings thereby solely thinking, feeling and acting from the perspective of love and kindness), the cycle of reincarnation ends. Reincarnation occurs when the physical body dies and the soul lives on, living life after life, taking on whichever Earthly bodily form it needs to in order to fulfill its Divine purpose.

The origin of the soul contract is relative to the belief of reincarnation. In addition to the soul’s solo journey through lifetimes, healing its karma from past lives, it also must heal the karma it has created with other souls along the way. Karma is created through any thought, belief, feeling or action which the persona in the human body creates. This is to say that any behaviour in which the persona in the human body engages creates the fabric of its future. Whereas it can be difficult to avoid creating negative karma on our own, it can be increasingly difficult to avoid creating karma within romantic relationships.

In the afterlife (or, “between life”), in tandem with The Creator and other benevolent Light beings, souls will create and enter into contracts with each other to reincarnate together to heal their karma and live out their Divine purpose. These contracts include the subject matter that created the karma from previous lives. Until it’s resolved, the karma is carried forward from life to life. The contents of each contract are is contingent upon the degree of karmic debt (beliefs, actions, thoughts and feelings) that we and the other parties have created. The contracts contain information about where and when the souls are destined meet in the next life and carry out their contractual obligation in the hopes that it is resolved. When the souls meet in the following life, they are subject to the rules of the contract. And if left unresolved, will reincarnate time and time again until resolution occurs. Whereas many soul contracts are created to heal past life karma, some are created for the purpose of a support system. Not all soul contracts are created for the purpose of resolving past life issues, some are generated in order to align us with our soul mate. Whether for the healing of karma or to meet our soul mates, all of these contracts are destined to happen. But how do we know if we are in a relationship with our soul mate or if we are working through a soul contract?

Soul contracts for the purpose of karmic debt are often wrought with fear. They are filled with haunting dreams, anxiety and apprehension that make us question our own self worth. Many a time, one of the partners in a soul contract has narcissistic tendencies. This means that they tend to twist words and situations into opportunities for self gain. They tend to belittle their partner’s feelings and blame them for all that is wrong with their lives  Soul contract partners constantly create disharmony and stress within the relationship. Often soul contracts feel as if its partners are perpectually fighting an uphill battle in order to find the peace within their partnership. Soul contract partners are often called “star-crossed lovers”, named after their misaligned stars. Star-crossed lovers are two in a relationship where their happiness and joy are always impeded by outside forces and they can never find the peace they seek together.  Frequently, while in a soul contract, we feel “off”, as if there is something, a force larger than we are keeping us in a relationship that may not be the healthiest choice for us. This can often feel like we are being energetically ‘punched in the gut’ so to speak. Whereas this may feel as if we are being punished, we have committed to these relationships so that we can heal them and move forward. This is a contract whose terms our soul has agreed to before incarnation. This is for the sole purpose of healing past life issues and learning lessons associated with the making peace with the human experience.

Entering into a soul contract relationship often feels, at the beginning, as if we are falling in love. We often feel as though we have known our partner for much longer than we have. Initially, there is a level of comfort that seems unmistakably as though the partnership was destined to be. Often these relationships involve marriages and other long term commitments. However, in some cases, throughout the course of the relationship, we may begin to see ‘red flags’ about our partner. We may question how it is that somebody who claims to care so much for us can treat us so poorly. One partner is often completely self-involved and give little to no care for the other person’s well being. Many times these partners are selfish and self centered. Sadly, these subtle signs can take time for us to recognize. In some cases we will train ourselves to go against our gut, to ignore the signs and to carry on because we feel that this love is a love that’s worth fighting for. Even though our partners place all of the blame on us for all that’s wrong with their lives, we often try to see their perspective and forgive their narcissism only to cast our own hurt aside and join them in belittling our feelings. We will be made to question ourselves right down to our core beliefs. Most often, because we are peacekeepers, we will continue to make excuses for these people to convince ourselves that their offenses were “not that bad”, or that our emotional pain is a result of our being too sensitive. We will often avoid placing blame on our partner because we have learned to accept responsibility for our circumstances and behaviours. However as we are brushing our hurt aside, we are neglecting to pay attention to our feelings. Our feelings are valid and must be felt in order to heal.

In other cases, there is no narcissistic participant. In other cases, there are many attempts made to be together, to marry and to flourish. However in the soul contract relationship, these attempts are thwarted. Why are we never able to find the harmony that we desire with our partners? It may feel as though the universe is against us. While this may not exactly be true, we can now understand that we have entered into a soul contract;  a predetermined agreement for the purpose of resolution of karmic debt. 

Whereas the soul contract relationship often involves a cycle of fights, break ups, and getting back together (repeat), the soul mate contract is peaceful and supportive. Though all romantic relationships have their challenges, the soul mate relationship will not make us question our self-worth, it will not bring about repeated bouts of anxiety, depression, nightmares and other ailments. The soul contract relationship often feels as though one partner is constantly putting more effort into the other person and it is not reciprocated. It feels as though one partner feels as though s/he has to tear her/himself into pieces in order to keep the other person whole. There is a significant imbalance of power and energy in the soul contract. Whereas the soul contract relationship shakes us to our very core, bringing up negativity, mental and physical illness, the soul mate contract is healing and nurturing. The soul mate contract heals all prior soul contract relationships.

The soul mate relationship is a rare one. Whereas some believe that there is one soul mate for every person, some believe that there are many soul mate relationship possibilities. There is something to be said for the evolution of the soul within even a single lifetime. This is to say that should the possibility exist that we each have more than one soul mate relationship possibility, this renders us free to spiritually grow at our own pace. As the saying goes, ‘like attracts like’. With respect to romantic partnerships, whichever stage of growth we are at will attract the right partner for us. Should we only choose to grow a little bit, we will attract the soul mate for us at that stage. Should we choose to spend our entire lives learning and growing, we will attract various soul mates for the various stages of growth that we achieve. That said, for those who believe that there is only one soul mate for only one soul mate, this soul mate must be available to grow and learn at the same pace we do. If one partner grows at a further accelerated rate, the two may grow apart. Throughout our spiritual journeys, we often discover that as we shift and grow forward, we leave loved ones and friends behind. This is because as we ascend spiritual vibrations, we lose touch with those who were at our previous vibration and gain new and supportive connections who now resonate with our higher vibration. Unfortunately, this also means romantic relationships. All of this is to say that should you believe that there is only one soul mate for you, this soul mate relationship must be able to grow at your acceleration and you with theirs. 

Soul mates bring each other peace and harmony. Soul mates support each other and lift each other up. They have a beautiful understanding of each other and what each of them needs within the relationship and in life to feel content. Though every romantic partnership as its fair share of disagreements, the methods by which soul mates work out their differences is through a loving understanding of each other. 

A soul mate relationship is rooted in respect and equality of partners. Though in all relationships, at times it seems that one partner gives more than the other, the soul mate relationship has equal or near to equal effort and care about each other and the relationship from both partners. There is a balance of power and energy that occurs when two souls are living within their soul mate relationship.

Soul contracts most often consistently bring out the worst, fearful sides of us. Soul mates most often consistently bring out the best, loving sides of us. Whatever that path we have contractually committed to, its important to remember the underlying theme of our role in our relationship, in this lifetime and as spiritual beings. It is our soul’s journey to resolve and absolve all karma we have previously created.

For more information on how to heal your soul contracts, please see:

Or email: to set up your individual soul contract reading.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s